Get Fit in Your 40s

My Perimenopause Story – How I Took Back Control

• Become Fit Forever • Season 1 • Episode 1

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Welcome to the very first episode of Get Fit in Your 40s! 🎉

In this episode, I’m opening up about my personal journey through perimenopause – the challenges I faced, how I found answers when no one else seemed to have them, and the steps I took to reclaim my health and well-being.

Here’s what we’ll cover:
✨ How I felt like a completely different person during perimenopause
✨ Frustrations with doctors who didn’t provide the help I needed
✨ Gaining weight and struggling with unexplained symptoms
✨ How I took matters into my own hands and became an expert in women’s health

You’ll also learn:
✔️ Early signs that you might be approaching perimenopause
✔️ Why you’re NOT alone and how to find support
✔️ Practical ways to empower yourself and take control of your health
✔️ Tips on how to advocate for yourself with health practitioners

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:
📞 Book a free call with me to kickstart your health journey: https://calendly.com/bffzone/30
📥 Download your FREE guide: How to Optimize Hormones & Lose Body Fat in Perimenopause: https://becomefitforever.kartra.com/page/hormones
📲 Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/become.fitforever/ for daily tips, stories, and inspiration.

Subscribe & Review:
If you loved this episode, don’t forget to hit subscribe so you never miss a future episode! 💕
And if you found this helpful, please leave a review – your support means the world and helps other women discover the podcast.

Let’s Connect:
I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions about this episode. Send me a DM on Instagram or book a call – let’s chat!


Disclaimer:
The content shared on this podcast is based on our personal experiences and opinions. We are not medical professionals, and the information we discuss is not intended to replace professional advice or treatment. What has worked for us may not work for everyone. Always consult with a doctor or healthcare provider before making any changes to your health or wellness routine.

kausar:

Oh my God. I can't believe we're here. It's our first episode. I'm Kausar. You should identify yourself with these sounds.

doucky:

And I'm the Latina one, Dookie. this is a dream. I just have to say, being with you, we're going to be talking about many things as we do in real life, but now we're going to be. sharing it with you besties.

kausar:

exactly. So we're going to be building the community of BFFs all around the world. BFF is our company become fit forever. And we established this in 2019, but we met in 2017.

doucky:

We started working together in 2017.

kausar:

Yeah. We

doucky:

started dating. Do you remember? And then we got married in 2019. we made, Our business official.

kausar:

Yeah.

doucky:

Yeah. So we've been dreaming about having a podcast for so long and finally we took the leap and here we are.

kausar:

Yes. At a perfect time. So I always tell you, when we get anxious about work, no, there's a time And this is perfect because we started as fitness and nutrition coaches. And this is perfect. Things evolved as we grew older. Dookie hit her forties. I'm about to hit my forties. and things have changed in our own health journey that made us realize that we need to study more. We need to learn more. We need to help and cater to our clients more who are over 40 and We're shedding light on one of the most amazing topics and Duque always tells me this is groundbreaking that people are opening up more about perimenopause, a topic that nobody talks about it. And especially this episode is so special because I'm going to be asking a lot of critical questions from Dunke because she went through her perimenopause journey

doucky:

still going. It's

kausar:

still going. so we're going to be asking a lot of questions about her symptoms how she advocated for herself She's going to be sharing a lot of juicy stories on the way the medical and the doctors and the OBs and the general practitioners gaslighted her, sometimes it was

doucky:

crazy. It's going to be very gossipy. But I think the main thing is we want you to be aware. because I didn't know I was in perimenopause. For me, it was like a concept that was really far away and I, we don't want you to go through that, but since this is our first episode and a lot of you don't know us yet, we want to share three things about us Okay. So I'm going to start, I'm Venezuelan and, I came here to the United States 14 years ago. I have one daughter. she's 11 years old and I live with my two cats and my husband who is also my bestie. We've been together for 22 years. Soon we're going to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.

kausar:

that's crazy. It is crazy. So I am originally from Afghanistan. I have two kids. I have a 12 year old daughter. And my son is nine and I have two cats as well. We

doucky:

love cats, as you can see,

kausar:

it's a big cat family. my original profession was biochemistry. I absolutely hated it. I quit and I pivoted completely. And of course we're going to talk more about our journey as we go along in that episode. So make sure to subscribe. Yes. Awesome. So let's start with my best friend, Coach Dookie. Amazing coach. your clients adore you. People on Instagram adore you

doucky:

I always say this doesn't feel like work.

kausar:

No.

doucky:

It's my passion. I just enjoy it so much. Yeah. I love them all.

kausar:

And you quit your marketing job, right? Because you had passion for something else.

doucky:

A hundred percent. I graduated in mass communications and was there for 15 years in advertising agencies, then marketing and communications here. And then I decided. To go back to school to study nutrition and fitness because I was 35 pounds Overweight and I didn't know what to do I was very confused with all the information in the internet and I say, you know what? Let's go back to school and here we are.

kausar:

Okay. So why don't you tell us how you lost the weight and where are you now? give us a timeline of how your body changed and you evolved and then perimenopause hit. for those who are watching in the video and you're watching her on Instagram, on our account. she looks fabulous. And so let's hear it from her.

doucky:

It is so nice to work with your best friend that tells you all these nice things. It boosted my self esteem even more.

kausar:

I know, right? Cause like when I'm not sure about what to wear, I'm like just wear whatever. You look so pretty.

doucky:

She's so pretty. Have you seen her eyes? Come on. So I think this is a very important question because most of us, didn't make a lot of effort to look fit or to feel fit

kausar:

in our twenties

doucky:

and our thirties.

kausar:

Oh, I did.

doucky:

But in my case, right? Like I gained the weight after I had my baby. I didn't recognize myself anymore because I was skinny for my whole life. I had Camila and then everything went down the hill. So it's when I took the decision to understand what was going, on, and I don't, I'm not going to say it wasn't. difficult. It was because I didn't have the knowledge. But once I had the knowledge, the pounds started shading, and then I learned how to count macros, which is like part of our method. And that was like super eyeopening. And I was super fit between 36, to 39 years old. Yes. Was my pick. I was ma ma cita.

kausar:

Lifting 150 pounds. Yeah. In CrossFit. Oh. For those days.

doucky:

Oh, I was so strong. I was super fit. I had so much energy. So that was like the peak of my fitness journey. We launched our business at the same time. so I lost the 35 and then the pandemic hit.

kausar:

Oops.

doucky:

You want me to tell you what happened in the pandemic? I don't know if

kausar:

a lot of things happen, but I think in your case, for our audience who's listening or watching, we literally live together. We talk a lot. from 8 a. m. to till we fall asleep because we're best friends and we'll work together. We have a lot of things going on. We have a lot of projects. We have our own app. We have 50, 60 clients right now enrolled in our program. So obviously there's a lot of talking outside of just the business meetings. And of course we have, our tweens, who, you get the point. so we talk. So I feel like I was in this journey with you throughout the time. And the pandemic is that one time where I saw her at her lowest. I saw you drinking every day. I'm like, who is this? And that is a very

doucky:

important point because I quit alcohol before the pandemic because of my fitness journey. I was like, alcohol wasn't cutting it for me anymore. And then because of the pandemic, I didn't have the coping tools for what was going on. And I started drinking alcohol again.

kausar:

Yes. You put on some, weight. and the crazy part is that we opened a zoom meeting to talk about our new launch,

doucky:

BFF to the rescue. Oh,

kausar:

it was so far. Cool name. I remember. BFF to the rescue during the pandemic. It was a hit. It

doucky:

was a hit. It was amazing. Yeah

kausar:

I opened the laptop you guys just for you to know for reference you could tell from my eyes I'm super always you can tell me a vulnerable word and i'll be bawling just like that and she is the one who's always control yourself. You're strong. She's very strong I don't think i've ever seen her cry. No, maybe you cried when camila was born No. Oh God. So open the laptop, bawling her eyes out. And I'm like, what is going on? Even for me to process this huge emotion, I knew there was something bigger that was happening to her that she's crying like that.

doucky:

So I remember that day, I tried to control myself, which I do as, like I'm not a crier and, but I was in that point that I was desperate for answers. I just felt deeply sad. For no reason. I'm, how old were you, coach Dki? I was 40. I was, you had just hit 40. We started your 40. I was 40, almost 41, I think. I think the 40. I was feeling all of that, but I was brushing it off. Yes. But then in the 41 years old is when everything, it was the peak for me. I was like, I'm not. The person I used to be before. I think it was in that moment when I You know, we were working and then I couldn't hold it and I started crying because I wasn't really desperate I was like, I don't know what's going on. I'm deeply sad And then of course you evaluate your life and you're like, my daughter is healthy. Love her, my husband Lovely guy, our business was blooming Why am I feeling like this? And then you feel the guilt. So it was like all these, symptoms of depression with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, that I didn't understand. I didn't know, what to do. so when I went to you to just say, Hey, I have, I don't know what's going on is when, I started seeking for help because I knew this wasn't me. Like I don't cry. I'm always happy. Cheerful, positive energy, very strong. all my Latinas out there, that maybe that a little bit delusional, right? But, with any issue, we are just like, okay, this is an issue. Let's move forward. What is the next step?

kausar:

Yes. You were hitting a wall, right? Cause research has shown, right? And there's an international menopause site. They did a huge research survey back in 2019. And the results was that 50 to 60 percent of women don't know they're in perimenopause. So all the symptoms are being brushed off. Oh, you have anxiety, ah, whatever, just go to therapy, right? Your gynecologist told you to go to that. Yeah. The

doucky:

thing is that we were in the pandemic.

Let's

doucky:

go back to that point, right? Like we were in the middle of the pandemic. I have anxiety, symptoms of depression, intrusive, don't, didn't we all have those symptoms? Yes. But then the pandemic was, almost over. like we are getting over this. Why I'm feeling this way. And I went to the doctor. Yes. Just for a normal checkup. and then, they gaslighted me because they told me that I was too young. I started reading about hormones by that time because I was like, maybe this is it. And they told me no, you are too young for that. And I'm like, okay, can I have any other help? I'm having, so I I'm going to list the symptoms that I told them you also know. But she asked me, how are you feeling? I say I'm going to tell her how I feel because now that I'm vulnerable, I'm going to go. So I have anxiety symptoms of depression, intrusive thoughts. My PMS is super intense. I'm having heart palpitations and hot flashes. And I knew when I started having cold flashes, I'm like, Menopause because that is the only thing that we know with our conversations with our moms. That's the only thing. But perimenopause and menopause is much more than the hot flashes. Do you want to list out all the symptoms, the one that you

kausar:

had and you don't because I have a

doucky:

few. So the heart palpitations that I realized when I was watching TV at nighttime, I was like, what is this? I was so scared. The hot flashes and then you know what else? I developed allergy for my cats.

kausar:

That was insane when she told me that I was crying because you can't tell me you're gonna give birth to two babies that we have, that's not gonna happen.

doucky:

Two cats for five years and then, so yeah, and now I suffer from asthma. In 42 years I Never had asthma. Now I'm having severe asthma. I went back to study, I went to the rabbit hole, right? I realized 37 years I had positional vertigo too. So I had positional vertigo, asthma, heart palpitations, hot flashes, symptoms of anxiety and depression, intrusive thoughts, bloating, constipation. there are more than a hundred symptoms, impairment of pulse. Of course it's different for everyone. Yeah. So that's for me. that doesn't mean that you are going to feel that way for my clients at the same time. So we were going through the same thing and I was like, there is something here. This is not possible. Like we are not sleeping right. We are not having energy. I couldn't focus. Did you see my pronunciation? daughter and Kausar have helped me a lot in my pronunciation. So I'm very proud of saying I couldn't focus. and before I was so productive. energetic, so productive. And then I'm dumb. Suddenly I'm dumb. Forget

kausar:

everything. And you're like, Oh, I'm forgetting

doucky:

everything. I'm like, what is this? You go somewhere to get something and you're like, Oh yeah, I read, I think in the UK women over 50, like they're in menopause, they quit their jobs. Oh. And I think it's because they don't feel capable of doing the job anymore. And that's how I felt three years ago.

kausar:

So going back to the woman who were unaware and that was, this is the study was done in 2019 where 60 percent of women don't know that they're in perimenopause. Yes, without the help of our medical system, right? Because our doctors, our gynecologists are not trained, barely trained in studying in this topic. They probably study what a semester or maybe less of anything after, they call it the end of the fertility and you just have to live with the symptoms and you hit menopause and then you're done.

doucky:

Yeah. You know what? I'm laughing because I went to one of all the doctors that I went, that ignore me and I was like, Oh, see, my vitamin D is in 17 and she was like, you're fine. Like I have patients walking all around like in 10 and I was like, do you know that the minimum that you should have is 70? that is the level.

kausar:

Yes. And you need vitamin D to make hormones.

doucky:

Yeah, but then she, yeah, It's so powerful. And especially here, we live in between New York and New Jersey. the East Coast is sad, cold, gray, gloomy. But yeah, it is really sad, like when fall and winter come. You're basically depressed. We are depressed. And I remember that when I was Caracas. That's why maybe we're all delusional there because of the weather. We have sunlight all year long.

kausar:

People are happier. We're happy. And there's no reason

doucky:

to be

kausar:

happy. No, because vitamin D is associated literally with all your hormones, your cortisol levels, your insulin levels. My doctor disregarded me. Wow. that's basic though. That's not even estrogen and progesterone. We're not even talking sex hormones.

doucky:

I was, I remember every time I went to a Dr. K. I would call Jesus, my husband, and I would cry because I felt dumb, ignored. they were gaslighting me all the time, Oh, take pill. I don't want to take pills. I don't want to take contraceptive pills anymore. That make me nauseous.

Yes.

doucky:

I needed answers and I didn't find any answer. yeah, I have to advocate for myself. Yeah. And I was determined we keep normalizing this and you shouldn't normalize feeling like crap. Like with the PMS, that is the beginning of us normalizing what we shouldn't. The PMS, you shouldn't be feeling pain. You shouldn't be like, with the mood swings. One day, maybe, because of course your hormones are fluctuating, but it's so common, but it's not okay. Being in pain. Having no energy is not normal. Fatigue. Fatigue. The mood swings are not normal. Yes, being depressed and sad all the time. It's not

kausar:

normal. And joint pain, shoulder pain, Oh, another one that's a big one is that you literally wake up and you don't feel like the same person. Your whole body composition changes. overnight and you're accumulating majority of your body fat in your lower body. And that's the biggest symptom of, low estrogen.

doucky:

Exactly. estrogen is the hormone that distributes your body fat. So when those levels are, start dropping at the age of 35, happened to me too. Very common. So the joint pain, doctors are telling you that it's arthritis. Talk

kausar:

about your cholesterol. Did we literally forget?

doucky:

We did. That's

kausar:

barimenopause, my friend.

doucky:

when I started going to the doctor, cause I was feeling really bad, I went to my annual checkup and they told me that I was having high cholesterol. Like in the border, I don't need medication, but I'm right there, like really high, which for me was really shocking and scary. Shocking because I've been having a plant based, diet for the last eight years almost. walking, good habits. And I'm like, why I'm having high cholesterol. This is weird. I don't eat processed foods because I love eating real whole foods, yummy food. so why I'm having high cholesterol. So I remember the doctors told me, Oh, that is your hormones. And he told me just keep doing what you're doing, but more because he knew that I was, into fitness and nutrition. So he just told me do what you're doing, but more. And I'm like,

kausar:

Thank you. Okay.

doucky:

It was like just, I know that you have good habits, so keep doing what you're doing, but more. Those were his words. And then my gynecologist, you say gynecologist, told me to go to therapy.

Oh

kausar:

my gosh.

doucky:

Thanks again. so this was my treatment. Do more. keep eating healthy and over exercise, because I was exercising. I have to exercise more. okay, checked and then go to therapy. Okay. that is not a bad advice. I think at any time in your life, you should start therapy. Now I love it, but it was my gynecologist. I wasn't expecting that type of answer. I wanted something more, I don't know. More like a hormonal replacement therapy that I know now. I was expecting something more like this. We will have an episode talking about hormonal replacement therapy for those of you who don't know what that is. But to start off, only 20 percent of gynecologists in the United States are comfortable talking about prescribing or even knowing why you need hormonal replacement therapy in the United States. And that was a study done two years ago Transcribed It's really crazy to me that in order for us to find the right gynecologist and advocate for ourselves, we have to find the doctors who are CMP, which is certified menopause practitioner, which is, by the way, continued education. So they have to finish seven years of med school, do their residency, and then go back for a few, semesters or whatnot. And a lot of, Doctors are at our age. They want to have kids. They want to have family. They want to start making money and they want to invest in all that great stuff, which is fine. They're not going to go back for additional education and it's a continued education and it's a certification. So they have to keep on renewing it. So every couple of years you have to go and study cause it's a very new science. Yeah. Also in the health, field, they don't. Take care of the preventative care. Thank you. It's more about The pill. You feel this way Take the other pill, and then those pills are screwing other and then you just take another pill to fix that. And it's that is not preventative care.

Yes.

kausar:

That's why they're scared. Only 20 percent of the doctors are comfortable even talking about it. So the bottom line is you, need to be advocating for yourself. and you can only imagine how hard it is for women who are working.

doucky:

no. Can we talk about our moms and grandmoms? Please,

kausar:

let's just talk about, cause we had a whole hour discussion about this. I remember. How, oh my God, mom, don't get mad at me. She's an incredible mom and an incredible, you've met her. She's our abuela. She was a gynecologist herself in back home and I remember in, when I was teen, tween to teen, and when I, got married and stuff like that, those years were so hard for our relationship. And that's because she was providing for the family. She had to cook and clean, of course. I was a lazy teen. I was helping. And look at you now. Yeah.

doucky:

So obsessed with cleaning. She is.

kausar:

Sometimes. and she couldn't have good relationships. We, I saw her being very mean and angry and sometimes very aggressive too. The mood swings were just awful. And I remember seeing her cry and be very vulnerable because that wasn't who she was. She was like, you're like very strong woman. And I've seen her crying because she felt so guilty for treating her kids so poorly sometimes.

doucky:

It is and it was, it is still for a lot of women. And that's why we are so excited about. This moment in history we are living a historical moment.

Yeah

doucky:

Because the things hopefully are gonna change because we're opening this conversation. There is not we're stopping the shame Yes, you know about talking about perimenopause and the symptoms and menopause but In that time they were alone with their I cannot imagine not having a best friend, not having a partner, just you feeling that way in your bathroom, crying, not understanding what was going on. Yes. So that's why, and it is important that you're talking about the relationship with your mom because you were going, you were a teenager. She was in perimenopause and menopause. And that's how, what are we living right now?

Yeah. You're

doucky:

with Sophie. So it's going to be And my daughter, Camila, she's going to be 12 years old. So well, she has been a teenager since she was born. But I have seen that when I'm in, in, like when my hormones are crazy, Camila can feel it So working towers, I'm being aware of this is not who you are. Working towards that relationship with our daughters. I think it's the most important thing because, a follower was telling me the other day is you have to be careful because this, the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause ruined the relationship with my mother. And since, that time we haven't reconnect. Reconnected.

kausar:

Oh, that's really sad.

doucky:

She told me because I was talking about oh, Camila is also, Like her hormones are crazy. My hormones are crazy. We don't want to talk to each other I'm finding, ways to connect with her and she's don't let This ruin your relationship with your daughter because that happened to me But that's the

kausar:

truth about even you, me, and please, whoever's listening to this. My mom

doucky:

was mad all the time and I thought it was because of, that's just

kausar:

her personality. I thought it was

doucky:

her work. I was, yeah, for me it was like, Oh, she's very stressed out and then she come home and then she's really tired. She was always yelling, mood swings too. Very strong Latina woman too. But, now I see it very clearly. Yeah. Now I go back and I'm like, Oh, this is what was happening. And they lived it alone. But we're changing that.

kausar:

But the thing is, it's not just how they felt emotionally. They had the anxiety, they had the pressure for work and God forbid, if you don't have a good husband, like my dad was an angel. He helped us. He was taking care of us. He would sit with me for hours. Trying to explain how, what she was going through was, not normal. She's not like that. So he was always doing the repair work, repair is more important than the damage. I read that somewhere. Can we

doucky:

talk about gray divorce? Geez. Did you know about that term? We learned that term recently. And

kausar:

how many, you know what? I'm with statistics.

doucky:

Great. Do you have

kausar:

it? Gray divorce. 40%. Gray divorce. 40 percent of couples are divorcing later in life, which is their forties and fifties. And the reason is lack of intimacy, loneliness, and low libido and all of that symptoms of perimeter. Which

doucky:

brings me to, yeah, another symptom that we didn't talk about, which is low libido. Very common.

kausar:

Yes.

doucky:

Of course. there is like a mix of things here, right? stress levels between your 40s and 60s are really high. You are raising teenagers or you are going through empty nesting, financial struggles or you are in the peak of your career. You're taking care of your elderly parents, and then you are having these symptoms. So of course that affects the relationships. Your husband. Seeing you going crazy because of course, they are also living our pediment of cause. So they don't have the knowledge because you were a person and then suddenly you're not a person. So it's okay, why is changing? They don't have the knowledge. We don't have the knowledge to teach them. So it's important that we educate our boys and our husbands too. Because this is affecting everything. Your dad was affected. My dad was affected. My husband was affected. My daughter. So it's not us leaving the symptoms, but it's also our relationships getting affected by that.

kausar:

Suffered. Oh yeah. And then you don't have the

doucky:

support. You're not aware what's going on. That's why a lot of why that is not a coincidence.

kausar:

Yes, exactly. And you're losing a lot of, your friends too. I feel like it's I feel like there's divorce happening of course with between relationship because a lot of men, they don't put up with that, right? if you're moody, grumpy, hurt, mad, sad, all the time they're not getting what they want, which is emotional and physical intimacy. They quit the marriage. And very recently, One of my very close friends let go of our friendship and I,

doucky:

she broke up with you. She broke up. You have to correct my English. I'm trying here. Yeah. She broke up with you.

kausar:

And I was, I called her and I was literally in tears because we grew up together. So those things are happening constantly, even at workforces, like women are having issues with men So I think this awareness starts from hopefully this podcast or some other platforms and you're getting this information and you're raising that awareness in your home and your office And I think. That should be something that women need to talk more openly about

doucky:

Yeah, I think it, now in my circle, of course we are still studying because you just told me about the statistics. A lot of people are not aware of what is going on. And especially because the symptoms are, there are more than a hundred symptoms. So it is difficult to link.

kausar:

Yeah.

doucky:

These symptoms to perimenopause. This is what is happening. Is my sex hormones declining? you think that is some, something wrong with you, right? Like for me, like the allergies, the asthma, the vertigo. So I was like, Oh, is that hormones? No. I didn't think about that. so it is difficult for people to take action because they don't know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah.

kausar:

Exactly. funny, my husband and I are having this conversation now, Hey, I'm feeling this way. I'm about to enter my ovulation or my luteal phase and I'm feeling like I'm trying to educate him. We have to, but it's like, Oh, so you forgot. Is that, what does that have to do with, your period? He can't even say it the way he said it's hilarious. yeah, just remember when the estrogen and progesterone are low, this is what happens. This is what happens. And he's just give me a heads up next time when you're low. He called me yesterday. He's are you low?

doucky:

Are you low? Yeah. I need gas. I need gas. my husband knows about follicular phase, luteal phase. He is another coach. I'm telling you, I think that is the importance of talking to everyone about that. In my circle, I was saying that, when we go to ladies night out, that is a conversation now. And I'm sure that happened to you too, right?

kausar:

Oh, all the time. All the

doucky:

time is what are you taking? What are you doing just to feel better? But I'm going to tell you something about men. as a society. If this would be happening to men, this would have been fixed years ago. You know that. Like now it is, you can have Ozempic, you can have whatever, so easily HRT, hormonal replacement therapy, such a huge, only 20 percent of doctors can prescribe you that. Why? Like they're scared. They're scared. But if. They were men, this

kausar:

would

doucky:

have been fixed and solved. So we have to keep fighting as everything, Oh my God, women's life is about just fighting for your basic rights. Just to feel okay.

kausar:

Now our ovaries and our Reproductive system needs help, which kind of dictates everything. So now let's go back to teaching our audience cause we're coming at the end of this episode, let's talk about what are the best ways for them to advocate for themselves? Of course, awareness is first that we just talked about. What is another thing? tangible advice you can give to them that would help them. And what did you do

that

kausar:

helped you? what method did you adopt that we're actually teaching in our programs right now?

doucky:

Yeah. So first definitely awareness. So you can advocate for yourself. Don't stop until you find the solution. As I told you everything, like the symptoms are different from women to Yes. Some women don't get scared that you're going to go through all like I'm the unlucky lucky one because I love that everything is happening to me so I can help my clients better and I can relate to them and understand what they're going through. but, some others they're not having any symptoms, which is great. Second thing you need to find support.

kausar:

Yes.

doucky:

Because doing it, as I told you, like our mom suffered this alone, going through this alone. doesn't make any sense. So you have to find a community, a coach, I have a, I have a whole team,

to

doucky:

support me and I have my community at BFF, and third, there are things that are within your control because I know, This is the mindset This is the mindset. Ah, this is why it's going to happen. And he, like I just sit and suffer. I will suffer. That's it because I'm getting older. And this is what happens when you hit perimenopause and menopause. That is not the reality. Perimenopause and menopause can be the best. era of your life. why it didn't happen before? Because we didn't have the information. We didn't know what to do with it. We weren't aware. But this can be the best era of your life. If you think about it, you hit perimenopausal 35, you're going to be living half of your life with this. So you better get together because it is not fair that you live like that. Half of your life. Why? no. 60, 70, 80s. We can be fabulous. We can have a fabulous life.

Absolutely.

doucky:

So what are the things within my control that I, I apply after evaluating my symptoms, starting like crazy, went back to school to learn more about hormonal health and how to after practicing with me and my clients to see how they're flourishing, how energetic they are. It has been actions within their control. Not, they're not in hormonal replacement therapy because I feel that you have to get better at these things. Evaluate how you feel and then go to HRT because This is the things that are within your control. walking.

kausar:

Yes,

doucky:

it's free. Is good is the best therapy ever, right? Like walking at least 10, 000 steps. I'm walking 15, 000 steps. I'm walking with a vest, a weighted vest that is also helping me with my bone density, with my strength training just to protect my, my bones. and grow my muscles while I'm walking. Like, why not? So that is one thing. Also, stress management and sleep hygiene. I wasn't paying attention to those two things. Sleep is so important. I thought I was sleeping because I, you tell me, we went to a trip one time. we went to Raleigh in North Carolina. We were in the same room and she said, good night. And I'm like, okay. And she's did you sleep? Are you? I'm like, yeah, I say good night because she takes longer to fall asleep. But for me, I thought, I was sleeping, right? No, I was not because I. sleep, but then, I would wake up, I had some pics during the night and I was waking up really tired. So I'm working on my sleep, I'm taking supplements, no screen time after 8 p. m., breathing exercises have been key for stress management and just to calm down before sleeping. journaling, like just taking care. I'm not journal like she's so good at journaling. She's so cute and romantic and she likes these affirmations and all of that for me is more tactical. what things I have to get done for tomorrow just to get out of that of my brain. we have something that is called the garbage list, which are all these Oh, this weekend we have a birthday. We have to buy the birthday gift and we have this appointment. I have to take my daughter at this. And that is nowhere written that is in our brain. So the garbage list. becomes a real list and then I rest much better. So sleep and, stress management have been key in my process. I didn't, I wasn't working on that before. Then gut health.

kausar:

Oh, gut health is big.

doucky:

I didn't take care of my gut health before and then reading about that also hormones affect your gut. You don't produce enough serotonin, so that's why you're really sad, and then you're getting bloated, and then you're getting constipation. It's because of that. I took care of my gut health, 30 grams of fiber a day, apple cider vinegar when I wake up, more probiotics, food with probiotics and also probiotics as the capsule have been, very consistent now in my routine. and strength training, that's the king. I'm telling you before I was doing a strength training, but then during the pandemic I had to stop because I had an injury in my shoulder and also in my wrist. And that took the, that was like a snowballing for my symptoms, I think because I was doing a strength training and then I stopped for a year because of my injuries. And then that's why I felt all my symptoms more intense because I wasn't doing a strength training. So I do strength training four or five times a week now and cut alcohol and caffeine. I know you don't like this too. But by cutting alcohol, I stopped my heart palpitations and my hot flashes. And with caffeine, of course, sleeping much better. And also if you're

kausar:

sensitive to caffeine, cause a lot of people are not, I can have caffeine midnight. No worries. but

doucky:

you're 38. So talk to me

kausar:

in two years.

doucky:

Like she doesn't want, she's no, I'm not in perimenopause. She is no, I'm not that. I'm like, It's denial. She's in denial. hopefully she doesn't have all these symptoms, but yeah, I think she's

kausar:

paving the way for me. And I think I feel really lucky, just being in this field, getting pushed to study more and understand more and tapping into the topic that is so crucial. And I almost had to rethink my career and be like, how come I didn't study this in nutrition school? right? We have to do a whole separate certification just to really understand these terminologies and words and hormones and how they're affecting each other. So bottom line from what you described is that our natural clock is ticking, right? Our biological clock is ticking. The hormones are fluctuating throughout the month, progesterone, estrogen, which is our sex hormone that controls a lot of these functions in our body. Hopefully we'll have another segment just talking about functions of these. Yeah. But then, but

doucky:

these things are within your control that you can do.

kausar:

specifically on what are the changes that are happening due to these two hormones. And what are the things you can do to slow down the regression of progesterone

doucky:

estrogen? Yeah. And also even if you get HRT, which is hormonal regression therapy, you have to do these things. You have to. It's not like you magically are going to, yeah, they will recommend that. HRT is not going to prepare the fiber to, for you. HRT is not going to lift weights for you. You need to preserve that muscle mass. HRT is not going to. stop scrolling after 8 p. m. HRT is not going to do all of those things. So lifestyle, you have to double down in lifestyle. Yes. If you want to, learn how to optimize your hormones. Exactly. so I think that is key. And then of course, if you are doing all the things and more, of course, go, we advocate for HRT for sure. For sure. But definitely there is a light These works advocate for yourself. Do the things within your control. Be aware. And, pedimenopause and menopause are not an illness.

kausar:

No. Yeah.

doucky:

This can be the best era of your life.

kausar:

I would like to see

doucky:

in the comments if you guys are feeling Any of this. Any of this. Or

kausar:

something else. Maybe there's something that you came across and you can share with us This is it for now Excellent. This was great.

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People on this episode

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Kausar

Host
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Doucky

Co-host