Get Fit in Your 40s

How I Stopped Binge Eating and Finally Found Peace

• Become Fit Forever • Season 1 • Episode 3

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In this episode of Get Fit in Your 40s, Kausar is opening up about her personal journey—how she went from years of binge eating, self-hate, and guilt to finally finding peace with food. Now, after helping thousands of women break free from the binge-restrict cycle, she is here to help you do the same.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:
✨ How to stop cravings and the binge cycle by eating balanced, satisfying meals.
✨ The mindset shifts you need to stop feeling guilty around food and start nourishing your body.
✨ How to seek help if you’re struggling with binge eating or negative thoughts about food.
✨ Self-care tools like meditation, journaling, and other techniques to support your healing journey.
You’ll also discover:
✔️ Why restriction makes cravings worse (and what to do instead).
✔️ How to build meals that satisfy both your body and your mind.
✔️ Steps to take if you suspect you have binge eating disorder.

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:

📞 Book a free call with me to kickstart your healing journey → https://calendly.com/bffzone/30?month=2025-02

📥 Download your FREE guide: How to Optimize Hormones & Lose Body Fat in Perimenopause → https://becomefitforever.kartra.com/page/hormones

📲 Follow me on Instagram for daily tips, inspiration, and support → https://www.instagram.com/become.fitforever

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode spoke to you, hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! 💕
And if you found it helpful, please leave a review—it helps other women struggling with food find the support they need.

Let’s Connect:

I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions about this episode. Send me a DM on Instagram or book a call—let’s chat!

Disclaimer:

This podcast is based on personal experiences and opinions. I am not a medical professional, and the information shared is not intended to replace professional advice. Always consult with a healthcare provider before making changes to your health routine.



Doucky:

Welcome to another episode of get fit in your forties. I'm your host DOUCKY.

Kausar:

I'm Kosar. today

Doucky:

I'm very excited but very curious about the life of my best friend and my business partner. she's going to be sharing about how she overcame eating disorder I think been a lot of taboo talking about this openly, especially in the fitness and nutrition community. I think this is going to be very important for our besties to listen to so they feel heard so they start talking about it openly and also to ask for help a lot of people know that they are going through that So tell me a little bit more about how when? these started, how do you feel that your relationship with food with exercise your body was changing

Kausar:

I told you I wasn't ready for this, but you're like, you know what? No. Okay. The world our girls, our needs to connect with this topic because a lot of you are out there resonate. and I'm talking to all my millennial besties, right? Cause Late 90s, the whole dieting culture started. I was about 13 years old Where I got extremely exposed to that culture right through media through photos, posters, Celebrities,

Doucky:

Right the diets were coming out the slim diet. The Special was Beachbody Was launching out that same time and you would see nothing but these spectacular Barbie bodies I grew up in South Asia, diet culture spread all over the world, And I was not your typical skinny teen I was carrying some weight and you know as you're going through puberty as we all know You put on some weight and it's pretty normal But I think for me I was also very sensitive kid

Kausar:

who would pay attention to everything. Every word that came out of my parents, like I would listen to my mom, She was in her late thirties or mid thirties. She would talk about, that celebrity I've put on weight. That was the topic. Like didn't know a world outside of that. And I'm sure any you who's listening can relate. my parents with their best Intentions. They loved me so much. Like I had really beautiful life I kept on asking questions like hey, I don't like how I feel. I don't like how I look And they're like, you know what?

Doucky:

We're going to invest in this crunch machine where you remember that it looks like a little bench but then it had a bar on top and then you do bench, sit ups, but you pull the bar. They bought me one of those.

Kausar:

There's a we can fix it You know how parents fix everything they're like, we'll fix it. Don't worry You know my dad or let me just go buy this thing for her Literally that thing was next to my bed at age 14. So that's where this whole You Things started,

Doucky:

Like I'm having goosebumps

Kausar:

they would tell me, Rice and carbs are bad. the rice is carbs, right? I grew up eating rice and potatoes. there was no knowledge behind why I shouldn't. Eat rice then if I'm not eating rice and bread, what should I eat? What's the alternative? everyone was busy. They were just giving me a lot of information here and there.

Doucky:

those strategies that you used, like cutting carbs, doing the apps give you some type of results. How do you feel? You started restricting.? So how was it?

Kausar:

That's deep. I didn't get any any results So you were doing these efforts? For no reason, but what that did, though, that's really important to note is that. I had attached my complete self worth to how I looked, so my body didn't change. My body had to go through that A to Z stage of puberty as my body was designed. But what all of those little inputs did was really make me feel bad about myself. So number one, my favorite foods were demonized. So what was my thought process? I'm exposed to this food and this food is no good for me. And then number two, what I am beautiful. If I'm skinny, I am beautiful. If my face is pretty, like my mom, so sweet. She would always say, you have the be most beautiful eyes. You look so beautiful. Let's get you these clothes. Like always working on my fashion. You see her, she's such a fashionista. Oh my

Doucky:

God. Her mom, I call her Abuela. She's super sweet and she's always worried about everyone in the family. So I imagine, she gave you, attention and the help that she thought it was the one for that one for me. Yeah. So by age 15, 16, I had figured out how to dress myself so pretty where I looked spectacular and I get all the attention

Kausar:

But I felt like complete failure.

Doucky:

Because I wasn't skinny enough.

Kausar:

was like

Doucky:

a

Kausar:

focus. was so hyper

Doucky:

the exercise, the way I look, the way others

Kausar:

perceive me.

Doucky:

That is so hard for a teenager.

Kausar:

I always looked in the mirror. I'm like, Oh, I hate that stomach. Oh, I hate those arms. Like these were my exact words towards my whole teenage years past, just me hating on my body, hyper focusing on food. And guess what will happen? You give up and you just go binge.

Doucky:

You're like, I'm doing all these efforts For

Kausar:

For what? Yeah. I'm never getting results. I'm never going to be skinny. So I might as well just go

Doucky:

eat Exactly.

Kausar:

So that's the thought

Doucky:

process.

Kausar:

Around age 19, 20, I graduated college and I met my husband and what attracted me towards him a lot was that he wasn't hyper focused on my body type. I don't think I've ever told him that but

Doucky:

thank you

Kausar:

you're listening to this He loved me beyond my appearance. And he would always tell me You are perfect the way you are and He was always praising me for my character for my kindness for the person I was

Doucky:

Exactly. So what was the first time that someone went deeper and highlighted all those, good things about you. That is like exactly the qualities that I see And then you came to United States, right?

Kausar:

I moved to United States. And again, it was 2005, 2006, around that time, again, peak of diet culture.

Doucky:

were you binging at that age?

Kausar:

Yes. I think that was part of, it just became part of my identity.

Doucky:

Restricting And

Kausar:

And I was overeating when I felt certain emotions, when I was sad, when I was angry, when I

Doucky:

so

Kausar:

Coping with it. So it changed its shape as to I didn't feel good about myself So I'm just gonna

Doucky:

that was like always your mindset all day Yeah

Kausar:

and then America happened I started going to the gym I discovered Zumba classes

Doucky:

Okay So you discovered Zumba.

Kausar:

So my love for exercise really began with Zumba. I really loved it. then. The weight came off, but guess what? I still hated the way it looked. Because when you have, those negative thoughts ingrained in For so many years in your subconscious, there's no way you're going to heal that unless you put in the work, which we're going to get to, But I Would go to these big events. Everyone's Oh my God, you look spectacular. I would wear the most gorgeous clothes with nice makeup But, I felt like complete failure. But like the, the restrictive Diet, binge, go back, restrict, start again on Monday, work out harder. continued with me throughout my twenties.

Doucky:

Think about this. We eat at least, I don't know, four times

Kausar:

a day

Doucky:

and then you have to eat every single day of your life. So we're talking here about 15 years of your life. thinking about this has carbs. I need to restrict. This is too much for me Or I'm going to go ill all on and then feeling guilty about like we're talking about. It is too much thoughts about food and your relationship with your body Definitely not healthy not knowing what to do about it. Like feeling trapped. Because I think that is like a cycle, right? Like a vicious

Kausar:

cycle. we. As a society, we're really encouraging this behavior every single day, every single ad, every single magazine, every single movie, everything is encouraging that behavior. But you need to take responsibility. You need to stop and drop and think, what am I thinking about myself? I, Doki Wish, sometimes wish that I can go back. To my 20 year old self and I could tell her how brilliant she was.

Doucky:

I know like I'm having like, look at that. I cannot handle this

Kausar:

I spent those 10 years feeling bad about myself But I finished college back home. But I got my master's in one and a half years, I left the college. I got a job offer. extremely genius. Like I was in the lab. I was a biochemist., I was in this loving relationship. We were traveling every three months, four months, We had money, we had home, everything was great. I had my parents that were healthy, everything in my life was going beautifully, but what did I do? Spend all this time just feeling bad about myself and not enjoying my interaction, not enjoying my friends, not enjoying, I would say no to going out. Because of that vicious thought of What am I going to my diet, and then I would binge anyway in my own pantry. So essentially just for our listeners to understand where does this start your subconscious brain and your prefrontal cortex. That wants to save you, that wants to do the right thing, the logical one. And your subconscious brain, which is your emotional brain, so there's a conflict

Doucky:

time

Kausar:

Every day

Doucky:

Every day

Kausar:

so think about your brain to brain two sides of brains are just talking literally just observe that Do it don't do it. Oh my god, you're gonna get fat. Oh my god, but I'm sad. I really want you know And then at the end of the day, your body just gives in. That's essentially where the binge eating starts. Cause your logical brain wants to save you from the trauma. Your subconscious brain has trauma from the past and trying to heal through food. Because food makes you feel good.

Doucky:

.So let's talk about also the chemical reactions this struggle between what you're But it's not congruent with your actions. So that is really stressful. So I'm seeing here cortisol levels really going up. When your cortisol levels is up, of course you are tired, you resort on food too.

Kausar:

Hormones is our body's messengers that communicate everything So I wasn't eating healthy, right? So I would wake up and start my morning with just a cup of coffee just to avoid

Doucky:

because zero calories. Yes.

Kausar:

And, of course that backfires because your body's depleted and you're craving foods at the end of the day.

Doucky:

now you, you are here in United States, you are married, then you have your kid. And then another stressful situation happens, which is becoming a

Kausar:

mom. what

Doucky:

was going on in that phase?

Kausar:

after I got pregnant with my daughter. I was 26 years old by then. I had given myself, a complete mental permission to eat. That was a permission I gained, Duki, have I told you? No. I gained 52 pounds with my daughter. Could you even imagine like me being 200 pounds?

Doucky:

The cool thing is that you are tall, but yeah, 52, not a

Kausar:

healthy, not healthy, weight gain for, I was in an optimal weight when I started, So we were eating out every day. We were going to movies every other like night We had a great time, but dude, I was big The other traumatic experience that my body encountered was went into an emergency C section. I didn't plan my pregnancy to go way. I had the worst postpartum depression after my kid was born. And then coping with food again. and my daughter was a latching So it was another trauma on top of that.

Doucky:

is so important that you are openly saying this, Kausar, because I couldn't breastfeed my baby. And I feel you in that because I was feeling like a failure as a mom. My birth story wasn't like a telenovela. It wasn't pretty. And also, the copy mechanisms that we lack.

Kausar:

I think God just had all these little things in my way just to get me close to healing. I always say my journey was the most beautiful. your journey is beautiful because it's the stepping stool for you to get better and heal. So what did I learn from all of that? So I started just writing how I felt because I felt like absolute crap. So I'm like, there has to be somebody. Just to listen to me because I honestly didn't have a friend that close to me when I lived back in New York. so I was very lonely, so I resorted to my journal. and I started seeing my thoughts in a paper. That is powerful. When you see your thoughts, when you stop to listen to your thoughts, that is powerful. And that's when I decided I need to learn what's going on. really about nutrition. my journey got very holistic. I started reading and understanding how I needed to work with myself better. To have a better birth with my son. I started learning about, nutrition and calories and things like that, I'm like, you know what? Let me just do my certification. Cause I love Zumba. So my son was

Doucky:

was

Kausar:

A perfect birth. I gained 20 pounds. I hired a nutritionist to help me. That's

Doucky:

I met you. More probably you don't know about this, but Kausar was my Zumba teacher. By that time Camila was like one, two years old. And then she interrupted the classes because she got pregnant with Noah.

Kausar:

I really was determined to have a healthy birth, healthy pregnancy. So I was going to the gym every day. I was eating my vegetables. I had a nutritionist helping me, I had a food journal, all of the whole thing. But after No

Doucky:

was born,

Kausar:

I went back to school because I really wanted to crack this code. And through that journey and just being with you and we started working together, I went to therapy and, I was finally able to heal

Doucky:

I congratulate you because you really put in the

Kausar:

work

Doucky:

And there is a combination of things. Number one, yeah, therapy. You need to heal and understanding why copy mechanism is through food. Other coping mechanisms are alcohol, shopping, and also, believe it or not, overexercising.

Kausar:

So

Doucky:

people is no, my gym is my therapy. You need to be careful with that. Because you shouldn't be needing any exercise. You're going to need anything else by your external sources in order to cope with whatever feeling that you're going through.

Kausar:

with therapy, I'll have to emphasize CBT. Cognitive behavioral therapy. I always recommend it to everybody You have to go through every single phase. Thought, find evidence for it, and then come up with affirmations. So affirmations, meditation, therapy, and journaling, they became my little toolbox. that's part of my morning routine. And I'm

Doucky:

also part of, her clients in the program because, we are fitness and nutrition coaches for women over 40 and we coach differently in some ways because of course it's like through her journey, through her expertise, I see that you ask your clients to journal and to come up with these beautiful affirmations. I'm just in awe. with how beautiful the affirmations of our clients are And that is thanks. to you that they have changed their mindsets. So I see that is really powerful for them in their journey. And I now see why, because it has been very powerful. for you too, I think one part is like the mental health, which is really important, that's why you are overeating. You cannot stop, yourself and then you feel guilty. And it's all of this cycle. So then the second thing that I see that has helped you is understanding the macronutrients more than the calories, So learning that you have to start with a protein, with some fiber, with some vegetables, with some fruits. is okay, I'm going to therapy, I'm doing the journaling, I'm doing the affirmations, but also I'm doing actions that I can control, which is preparing myself for my

Kausar:

day.

Doucky:

Yeah.

Kausar:

It's a whole paradigm of things, right? your physical body is not detached from your mind, Your mind and your body are interconnected and you have to work with both in order to find homeostasis, find the comfort where you feel content, So you can

Doucky:

lose weight.

Kausar:

No problem, but are you going to be happy with yourself at the end of the day? If you're not going to be happy, then that's half of the equation. Like you mentioned in our program, we work mind and body because they go hand in hand. And I always tell my clients, if you're not happy at this weight, what makes you think you're going to be happy when you lose 25

Doucky:

It is so deep.

Kausar:

And so for those who are listening and you're in your journey to whatever your goal is, weight loss, weight gain, perimenopause, whatever it is, you have to learn to love yourself simultaneously. And so like you said, yes, getting organized after I got my certification and really reading and understanding nutrition at its core and deepest level. We understood you have to combine your fiber protein and your fats in order to stay satiated, because otherwise you're going to have chemical imbalance. So you're either going to binge because you have low self esteem or your mindset is not in the right place. Or you're going to binge eat because you're chemically imbalanced. So you have to fix both of them.

Doucky:

where are you now in your journey? what do you say to those, besties who are listening and watching right now? What do you recommend?

Kausar:

your journey is not going to begin unless you have the awareness. And the awareness will come when you sit with yourself. because we are in this crazy rut. All day, you're working, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're watching your kids. Do you ever stop to just listen to your body? So make meditation part of your daily rituals. Even if you're walking, you're standing, there's literally standing meditation now that allows you to close your eyes and listen to your thoughts. When you get aligned with your thoughts, you are going to get one step closer to understanding what you're feeling and how you need seek help.

Doucky:

I think. We need one thing that solves everything and then we're always looking for it, right? Either it's like a glass of wine that is gonna solve all my issues or over exercising or just give me this muffin you drink alcohol, you exercise, you, overeat. The problems are there. Like your problems are not going to go away just because you do this. Definitely going deeper and understanding what is the real root, and how to manage this.

Kausar:

So for me, it's been nine years. My son will be 10 next year, almost 10 years of finding that piece. Of course, our journey never ends. I'm still in therapy. I have things that I'm working towards. My spirituality is what my biggest focus has been in the last two years that I'm really working towards and studying and learning. And you grow, you learn and, Every time I get to a new milestone or if I understand a new word or a new concept it's like a light bulb. And I'm like, Oh my God, this whole time I've been going through this journey, the step by step, just so I could get to this part

Doucky:

of

Kausar:

healing So the healing never ends.

Doucky:

is so important that you're saying I know Cousar since, I don't know, like seven years approximately and she had tried everything, just to heal herself, her relationship with her body and food. So very, a lot of knowledge here. I know that. I have seen you going through and I feel so happy that you are in this. Position right now so you can help others.

Kausar:

Of course, we forgot to give a disclaimer in the beginning. We're not therapists. We're not experts in this field. But through our own journey of learning and understanding and reading and getting help and therapy, we have learned enough to be able to guide our clients in this journey.

Doucky:

you so much for sharing your journey with us and you also thank you so much for listening and staying here. Please don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any other episode.

Kausar:

We'll see you next episode. See

Doucky:

soon, bestie.

People on this episode

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Kausar

Host
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Doucky

Co-host